Day One: Lands End to Wadebridge (Never trust the GPS)

Miles: 64                             

Calories: 4584

Time on the saddle: 4:31

I’m 6’3. The bed I slept in last night was 6’1. Combine that with fact that it threw it down last night (drought, what drought?) needless to say I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. It didn’t matter though. I was like a child at xmas.......excited and eager to get up and on with the day. We arrived at Lands End (shit hole) and almost got mugged. £4 for parking! The Colley’s had none of it and dropped the car off ¾ of a mile away and walked back to the attractions (the signpost). After learning an ‘official’ photo in front of the sign was £9.95 we decided to save our beer money and take a photo behind the barriers whilst negotiating with the elements!  The rain was back. After sheltering I set off and started to fly! The wind was well and truly behind me and I put 10 miles in without even knowing it.

I’d passed through Penzance just as my bike GPS computer decided to have a melt-down (A common theme for the day). It was trying to send me back to the start, then off to the South East! Like having an argument with Helen, I ignored everything it was telling me and followed my instinct and got back on course. This happened around 5 times today which slowed me down but also provided a good excuse to rest.  The moral of the story, the GPS is a guide not gospel. A good ride today and it wasn’t as hilly as I’d been expecting so roll on tomorrow !

Highlights today included seeing 2 seals, a pair of sparrow hawks and meeting up with 2 more fellow lands end riders who gave me a welcome boost at the end of the ride just when I needed it.

Low points of the ride proved that immaturity does not get rewarded. I decided to take a detour to a place called Cocks for a photo (it really is a proper place, look it up if you don’t believe me). Not only was it in a deep valley (which took 3 minutes to descend into and 25 minutes to climb out of) some bugger had stolen the Cocks sign........so no photo!!!!! School boy!

Day 2: Wadebridge to Witheridge (Hills upon Hills)

Miles: 66.06

Calories: 4690

Time: 5:01

On the road for 0840 this morning maybe not as excited as yesterday but nevertheless, the enthusiasm was still there until I was 15 minutes into the ride. Now, let me tell you something.......there is nothing like a never ending hill to zap any positive vibes you may hold. I don’t think I’ve ever been as close to the outer atmosphere or even the Sun when I finally reached the summit. This baby was big, but the constant hours of training up Churwell hill put me in steed.

I think the Hill ratio of up going up to going down throughout the day was around: - 25 up 1 Down. Oh well, ‘they’ say that these are the 2 hardest days........so now that they’re behind me it should be a breeze!!!!!

I’ve also decided today that i’m not going to shave until i finish the ride......lets see how that pans out hey?

Highlights:  Great day for riding, not too hot, not too cold.

Low points: Twisted the knee whilst trying to fix my bike !!! How annoying. The bike we can fix but if the knee goes then the dreams go up in smoke. Pain killers here we come !

Day 3: Witheridge to Wells

Miles: 72.27

Calories: 5028

Time: 05:45

The 1^st thing i would like to say is that Devonshire flies taste a lot meatier than Cornwall flies. Fact. I ate a lot of them today (not intentionally i might add) as i was riding through a lot of country lanes. Someone tells me there good for you, so it’s all good.

I am typing this as an ashamed man. I’m so ashamed; I almost want to shave my attempt at a beard off. Why? I pushed my bike up 2 hills. I did the very thing that I vowed not to do.......... “there is no hill too big, no hill too steep for James ‘Lance Armstrong’ Colley”........... yeah, well let me tell you something for free.......there are 2 hills that are too big for me to tackle.  In my defence, my chain came off the bike on the 1^st hill and i lost all of my momentum....... but between you and me.....i still wouldn’t have managed it.

Anyway, enough of the hill talk. A strange days cycling today. It started off in the 1^st couple of hours in the sleepy Devonshire countryside and country lanes. Very hilly and slow but beautiful surroundings. I even saw 3 wild deer.  The 2^nd half of my ride was a lot flatter but wetter. Proper wet.  When i came into glasto, i wanted to finish, so put my head down and thankfully Wells seemed to be around the corner. Going for a walk in Wells now with the old man.

Highlights: Negotiating a trade with the lady in the local post office in Curry Leval....... 70pence worth of sweets as well as a top up of my water bottles! Result.

Low points: Getting beaten by the hills. Colley 2501 Hills 2 (to be continued).

Day 4: Wells to Hereford

Miles: 71.45       

Calories: 5477

Time: 5:33

Today has been the best day so far on the journey. Stunning scenery, majestic weather and good winds behind me. I have actually started to develop the world’s silliest tan. As well as the expected sunglasses tan, i’ve got silly tan marks on my knees and my hands are white whilst my arms are brown (from the cycling gloves). I’m still thinking if i should take photographic evidence......watch this space.

               I came the closest i’ve ever come to seeing a mirage in a desert. I was 45 miles into the ride, both water bottles were dry and the hills just kept on coming out of the Wye valley. It’s safe to say that i was really struggling. No signs of anyone around, no shops, no pubs or even no houses!!! And then there it was, my saviour. A local village post office ran by a Manc which sold mountain dew! Was this real or was i dreaming?  After pinching myself and downing the can in one, i decided that i was still lucid and continued on my way.

I also had the unexpected pleasure of bumping into my aunty whilst 12 miles-ish away from Hereford and she turned out to be a life saver!!! Jane thankfully provided a bottle of water just when i needed it most.....so a big thank you for that.

Highlights and low points are twinned the same today. I mistakenly took the road that led onto the motorway and proceeded to ride up to the Seven Bridge toll booths. The next thing i know, i was getting shouted at over the tanoy by the staff in the office ‘oi you on the bike, get off the road, there is a cycle path over on the left!’  ops.

Day 5 Hereford to Prees

Miles: 70.62

Calories: 4615

Time: 4:50

Today was all about getting the miles under the belt and out of the way.  I spent virtually most of the trip on the A49, a ‘nice’ road but nothing really worth talking about. I had a quick stop of in the historic town of Ludlow and appeared to be the only tourist looking around the castle in lycra. I bumped into Helen whilst she was on the way to (the) Wirral and had a welcome rest. Overall, an average cycling day and for that reason I’m not going to include any high/low points

Day 6 Prees to Newton Le-Willows

Not Happy Jim !

Miles: 46.18

Calories: 2960

Time: 3:12

See day 5. Pretty much used the same road (A49) today to reach the hole that is Warrington. Just when i thought that a day couldn’t be less worth commenting on (see yesterdays notes) day 6 pops up and steals the show! A very boring, windy wet ride which also included me nearly getting knocked off by some old bint in a Lexus (or Lexi). After pulling out of a round-a-bout in my bright aluminous orange t-shirt with a perfect arm signal, i had clocked that she had not seen me but was stilling driving onto the round-a-bout and by this time i was already in front of her bumper. Thinking on my feet the best i could come up with was “oi” and when the 1^st one didn’t grab her attention the second one sure did.......”OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” she saw me, realised that her car also had breaks that worked and spared me. No apologies, no acknowledgement of wrong doing. Tit . Anyway, my day has been made by the arrival of Helen and her Dad and Grice and Pye. Really nice to see everyone and tell some tales. Tomorrow Kendal which i fear is going to be a slog.

p.s. I’m not sure our caravan or car wheels are going to be on in the morning as we are staying on a ‘proper’ traveller site or to use the politically correct term, a proper ‘pikey’ site. I just wish i would have packed my vest.

Day 7 Newton Le Willows-Kendal

Miles: 70:33

Calories: 4714

Time: 4:47

Just to confirm, all wheels are in place and all sleeves are present on our t-shirts.

What a difference a day’s riding in the sun makes. I have just re-read the last 2 days input and i think my negativity was pertained to the wet/cold conditions. Today has been a great day’s riding up and to the Lake District. As most of you know, this really is a special place and when the sun shines, it makes you proud to be English. Even the hills didn’t bother me today and i dare say that even if i saw any more Lexus (lexi) drivers, i would have smiled and tipped my cap.

I had a bit of a ride on the canal today, but could only manage 2 miles as it was a little bumpy and reverted back to the road.  I also bumped into 2 fellow LEJOG riders who i saw on the 1^st day at Lands End. After a bit of chat and words of encouragement i left them to it (or so i thought, i hit 2 red lights when i pulled away so had 2 more awkward chats to pass the time).

Highpoints of the day have to include just arriving in the Lakes.

Low points, my i-pod speaker has broken (I secretly think it has been sabotaged by my Dad as he was getting annoyed with my eclectic musical tastes)

Day 8 Kendal- Annan (and then some)

The HILL!

Random Roman soldiers in Carlisle

Miles: 67.01 (plus 35.6 bonus miles.....my 1^st ever century) total = 102.6 miles

Calories: 6811

Time: 7 hrs exactly

A wise man once told me, the Lake District is the wettest place in England.  Well let me tell you something for free......it is and it was this morning.  I had the unfortunate 1st task of a big uphill climb to the town of Shap just when the elements started pounding me.   As the climb was getting steeper and the rain was driving right into my left ear, it really felt like i was climbing into the mountains of Mordor.   My plan?  Head down and think of England.

So, with the hill out of the way everything changed. The roads got flatter, the rain stopped and i started to eat up the miles and before i knew it, i was having my sarnies in Carlisle watching Roman soldiers play fighting in front of the castle. I almost felt like Dad had spiked my drink. Strange bit highly entertaining.

After crossing the border in Gretna i managed to find our base for the night (after getting lost and cutting through a golf course) and still felt fresh so i thought i’d go for the century mark. After scoffing a scotch egg (well i am in Scotland) i was back on the saddle and adopted the race position for 2 ½. Before i knew it i’d put 30 odd miles in and had checked in with the old man ready to be picked up.  A great day in the saddle.

Highlights......100 + miles and not walking like John Wayne

Low points......the climb to Shap.....just a beast of a mountain.

Day 9 Annan to Prestwick (and then up to Gourock Ferry terminal).

Miles: 85:27

Calories: 5694

Time: 5:31

As i’m typing this there is a crisis in the caravan. Everything seems to be going wrong. The bike wouldn’t fit in the car to start with, then the breaks got bent on the way back, then i broke the caravan window, the sink isn’t draining and it’s started to rain whilst in England there is a heat wave !!! It’s safe to say that we are both tired and need to recharge the batteries. I think within the space of 3 hours since we’ve been back, we have sworn more times than on the whole trip. I need a beer (although in full honesty, i love seeing Dad swear and getting pissed off, it truly is one of life’s greatest comedy moments)

The ride today was stunning. Apart from the consistent threat of rain (i prefer it when it just rains, at least it’s not teasing you) Scotland is great. A very secluded ride at times today, rolling up on the hills and along the sea front but just what i imagined Scotland to be. Loads of wildlife and viewings of the natives (although i haven’t seen one can of Iron Bru as of yet).

Tomorrow we cross on the Ferry to Dunoon. I only mention this because i managed to catch a glimpse of the opposing land when the cloud broke.......all i can say is i will be having nightmares tonight about huge mountains!

To tired to write any high/low points.

Day 10 Prestwick (Gourock) to Oban

Calories: 5054

Time in the saddle: 5:45

After catching the ferry from Gourock to Dunoon (just saying Dunoon makes you sound Scottish) i was back on the bike and waved goodbye to the passing crew and caravan. This was a day i was unsure of. I did not know what to expect......did the Highlands really mean ‘High land’ and how big can a Loch really be?  Well the answer to both questions is it really didn’t matter. This really was the best location i have ever ridden in. From the moment i set of from the ferry to the moment i rolled around the last Loch, this place is picture perfect every way you turn. The Loch’s were so still they almost looked like mirrors. That saying, this was probably one of my hardest days ride. The wind seemed to follow me head on and my reserve in my legs just didn’t seem to be there. I put that down to 2 late nights (past 2200).

As i’m typing Dad is cooking a special of the day, sausages/potato’s and beans. He has asked me not to tell my Mum of his cooking exploits because he doesn’t want to rock the boat (Joke).

Off into Oban tonight for a walk and explore the Loch’s.

Day 11 Drumnadrochit to Dornoch (and then some more)

Miles: 89:56

Calories:  6059

Time: 6:09

It’s safe to say that i did not want to ride this morning. We both had a shocker of a nights sleep last night. I saw every hour through to 3am and Dad was up 3 times for various reasons. I was grumpy, itchy and tired when i got on the saddle and could not be bothered with it.

I left the beautiful Highlands and ended up cutting through Inverness. Now there is a contrast if ever i needed one. As soon as i saw the 1^st person carrying a can of lager on the street, i felt justified choosing my route through the longer/hillier highlands  than going the quicker way up through Glasgow etc.

I eventually found my way to the very pleasant sea side village of Dornoch and had to give myself a talking to about putting in some extra miles. The talking must have worked because i seemed to get a second wind and have left myself 50 miles to finish tomorrow. Result.

In truth, this evenings ride was a joy. Very up and down but the road hugged the coastline and i had the best views of the North Sea. The weather was kind to me today and really aided the good views. Looking forward to tomorrow and towards the end of our epic journey.

The final push to John ‘O Groats (JOG)

Miles: 49:02

Calories: 3150

Time: 3:24

I had 50 odd miles to do today and i was worried that this morning’s ride would be a gentle coast into JOG and the ride would somehow end on an anti climax. Well, i couldn’t be further from that. Todays ride, although short, was a tough ride up and down the towns/villages of the coastline of the North Sea.  I seemed to be wizzing down the hill making good time only to be out of the saddle, pushing up the other side of the hill. All good fun though and again the coastline road was superb.

I also need to mention the weather in Scotland. Since we have been here, we seemed to have had the 4 seasons in one day. From glorious sunshine to howling, thunderous rain within the space of minutes. I had to take shelter in a disused farm barn today after the heavens opened from no where. Minutes before i was contemplating putting sun cream on my burnt ears!

Anyway, the last 3 miles of the ride were actually a coast into JOG and i was very happy to see my support crew (Dad) waiting for me. It was perfect. The sun was out, the wind was behind me and we proceeded to have our photos taken by ‘the sign’. We then enjoyed a celebratory porkpie by the sea and took in the views of the surrounding Orkney Islands. A fitting way to end the ride.

It was also a good feeling seeing a few groups just starting their big adventure. Their ride into the unknown. For anyone who has worked shifts you can relate to the feeling of seeing your work peers come onto shift just as you are heading home from the night shift. Having that feeling that you have finished work and achieved something special and that your peers have got that all to look forward to. 

The old man has been a ledged throughout and has helped not only with all the demenial jobs but also with the most important job of ‘keeping one’s spirits up’.  So cheers for that sir. Top driving and cooking.

Miles – 951.07

Average Miles per day – 73.16

Average Speed – 14.15 mph

Complete saddle time – 64.27 hrs

Calories – 64,690

Average starting time- 09.16 am

Max Speed – 41.27 mph